tags: guac, guacamole, mexican, the worst, tortilla west
This is going to be short and sweet, but i felt the need to write about this. There is a pretty good Mexican restaurant near my house named Tortilla West. Now, when i say pretty good – i need you to understand that as you read that statement you were transported through time to two weeks ago. I do not currently agree with that assessment of Tortilla West. Right now i would say it’s pretty worthless and really a disappointment. You might be asking yourself, “What is he rambling about?” Well, i will tell you.
About a month ago, Erica and I went to Tortilla West together for the first time. She had been there with friends before, In had not. We had a delightful experience; i believe i had the West Ghent Sliders and she had a taco. We also ordered an appetizer of guacamole. This guacamole was AMAZING. Huge chunks of avocados and whatever the heck else they put in a good guac. The guacamole was what really put into my head that i needed to come back there again.
Well, two weeks pass and Erica and I find ourselves at Tortilla West again on a Sunday afternoon with friends. The waiter asks what i want (30 minutes after i was seated); i told him guac. He in turn tells me that they are out. Out? Really? A mexican restaurant has run out of guacamole? I guess i could let it slide. After all, a couple years ago i was at a restaurant called Baker’s Crust when the waiter informed me that they were out of bread.
A week later on Friday Erica and i decided that we wanted to go on a late night date and we headed on up to Tortilla West. Out of guac again. WTF? At this point, i was losing faith that whoever places the food orders for Tortilla West could count past 4. “Yes, i would like to order 4 avocados. Yes i am sure that will be quite enough for the entire week.”
The next week on Tuesday Tortilla West was offering .75 cent tacos, so i called up my friend Brian and we went up there. This time I didn’t even want to experience the devastating sinking feeling that happens in the pit of my stomach when i hear those dreaded words so i didn’t even try to order the guac. But Brian, not taking heed to my warnings, did. And guess what? Out of freaking guac.
Tortilla West, we had something good. It was even exclusive – i wasn’t seeing any other Mexican restaurant besides you. But you know what? You take me for granted. You take for granted the fact that i come around like a puppy begging at a table for scraps just because i want your delicious guac. Well guess what, West? I’m better than that. I’m make my own damn guacamole if it means that i never have to deal with you again. You are a disappointment through and through, and i hope for your sake you get your act together. Even though i have to see you everyday from the rooftop of my place of employment, i will no longer lust after your creamy, chunky guac. You were damn convenient, what with me having to walk right past you to get to my car after work, but it’s just not worth the constant disappointment anymore. Good day, Tortilla West. I said good day sir!